Mother’s Day… Notice I didn’t say Happy Mother’s Day? I am sure you are asking yourself, why? Well, I said I wanted to be real, and this is me being real. Mother’s Day is not always a happy day for all of us. The reasons why are tragic… infertility, loss of a child, loss of a mother. All of these can make this day especially hard for some of us.
For me, I have suffered through all 3 of these. I can remember a time when after losing my second pregnancy, I never thought I would be a mom. Then after the 3rd miscarriage, I hit a point of I am done trying. It was too hard, too heartbreaking, just simply too much. I even had thoughts that my husband doesn’t deserve this, he would make such a wonderful Dad and deserves to have that. And then the dreaded day of Mother’s Day came. You try to put on a happy face, after all I had to wish my own mother a “Happy Mother’s Day”. Yea, that day was hard…
But after years of trying and feeling like a failure, I was pregnant again. I will never forget telling my husband that morning that I was pregnant. He looked right at me and said, “It will be fine, and if it’s a girl, we are naming her Faith.” Well, we had our Faith (in more than 1 sense of the word), and then 2 years later we had our son, James. And suddenly Mother’s Day had a whole new meaning. It was joy, happy, exciting, fulfilling!
But then came the next phase of my life...
In January 2013, my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Mother’s Day 2013 was what was my last, true, Happy Mother’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and my kids are my life, and do anything I want every Mother’s Day. Truthfully almost everyday. They are the best! But now, there is sadness to the day as well. I won’t ever have my Mother here to celebrate with again. I am forever a motherless daughter. That thought is absolutely heartbreaking!
So on this day, be mindful of each other. Not all of us have had the joy of motherhood, not all of us have a mother here anymore, and some of us have tragically lost a child, and maybe some of us are suffering through more than one of these. As happy as this day should be, remember your neighbor, friend, or co-worker might not feel the same way. You really just don’t know. This is not to say you shouldn’t say “Happy Mother’s Day", but to understand sometimes it is ok to not say anything.